The Scariest Thing A Parent Can Go Through

After the birth of our son was over and the family had left, the nurse came in to the room to see if I wanted her to give Alexander a bath.  I said yes because I wanted him to be comfortable.  This was about 4 hours after he was born.  Mind you, in those four hours he was very fussy but everyone chalked it up to his belly being full of fluid still and it would go away. So the nurse took Alexander into the nursery for a relaxing bath....so I thought.

The nurse said it would only take about 20 mins.  20 mins quickly went by, then 40.  I had just thought "Man, he has been in there a long time for a bath." and it seems like the nurse was waiting outside of our door for me to say that because she came into the room as I said it.  She said that she had tried to call us but the phone in our room was not working.
The baby's color was a bluish gray.  He didn't look good at all.  It was darker in my room so no one could really tell that he was that blue.  She told us that we would need to go to the nursery to see him.  By the time we got to the nursery, he was already hooked up to machines.  I completely broke down.  When you don't expect to see your child hooked to monitors (or even if you do) it is the hardest thing you have to see.  I had to go back to my room because I was so hysterical. Then of course you start to wonder why all of this is happening and maybe it was something that I did.  At that moment, I didn't have any answers so I would have to wait and man, I was freaking out.

The nurse said that he isn't breathing like he needs to be and they were going to take his blood and take a chest xray to see what was going on.  Once the results came back from those tests Alexanders doctor was called. He told the nurses to start him on meds and get him on oxygen which he already was.  The results came back and the doctor determined that it looked like it was pneumonia. I was still a hot mess at this point.  It was just so hard to hear any bad news. I learned that hearing bad news would be something normal for a little while.  This was in the first few hours of life.